Making Feedback Effective

What makes an effective feedback giver?

 Effective feedback givers must possess courage, humility, credibility, empathy, and honesty. For truly successful feedback, all traits need to be present. Honesty without empathy can lead to brutal feedback. Courage without credibility can diminish the perceived value of the message. Credibility without humility can result in a leader failing to listen and forgetting they might not always be right. Being a good feedback giver is a purposeful practice. Like the surgeon or dancer who develops a foot-wide, mile-deep specialism, being a good feedback giver requires a commitment to having great development conversations as a fundamental part of their skillset.

 Most effective feedback givers follow a process through an internal dialogue that goes something like this. Observe (Be specific), Listen (Be present), Diagnose (Specify the impact), Evaluate (Think: will changing this, change performance?), Gauge (Check that the timing is right), Tailor (Make the message fit the person) and Deliver (feedback as notes rather than and a structured presentation). What is striking about this type of internal dialogue is that it isn’t a lengthy, reflective process. With experience studying and observing human behaviors, you can learn to negotiate this cognitive loop in a split second.  

 Remember: It’s always personal!

 Knowing people matters. But knowing a person is just the start. From there, skilled feedback givers consider four key questions when giving feedback: whether they have permission to give feedback; if there is a higher mission or purpose for the individual so they can use it as an anchor for the feedback; whether there are any cultural differences that need to be taken into consideration; and finally, how the feedback might need to be shaped according to the stage of the individual’s career.

 Honesty is the best policy.

 True grown-up conversations like the ones needed for effective feedback need to be honest and transparent. Honesty is much more important than such themes as constructive and consistent. Honest feedback is a central to the process of helping an individual reveal their personal capacity and improve their performance. Honest feedback can be easier to give and take in the moment, rather than waiting to make your observations later but they can also take time to get used to. This is where the support of the shared purpose and culture become so valuable.

Feedback receivers need autonomy and time to process.

 If you really want to improve your performance, you need the space, freedom, and time to act on that feedback as well. Givers of feedback must encourage receivers to take personal accountability for the feedback and to build their autonomy to act. A good place to start is by helping those receiving feedback to reflect on what they can control and what they can’t. As a leader you are trying to unlock performance that is in the muscle memory of the individual or team. In the moment the feedback you give is received, it goes one of two ways. Either you unlock their muscle memory, or they potentially go into a form of fear induces paralysis. You don’t discipline someone for doing that because their brain has just triggered it. You need to help them think through whether this is a momentary thing or more permanent and what do they have the power to change. Even if someone challenges the feedback you give, honesty is the best policy still applies.  

Growing feedback hungry people.

 It’s all well and good unleashing a pack of leaders in the business who are expert feedback givers. But to really boost performance, feedback receivers need to be trained and developed as well. Focusing on the qualities of leaders is important but focus on understanding everyone else helps identify the qualities that make them perform well. 

The trait of self-awareness is a building block for many different things, from effective leadership and relationship-building to mental health and happiness. Unsurprisingly, it is also critical to driving personal performance. A high level of self‑awareness stems from the regular, self-discovery style of feedback that is present from a very early stage in careers, often starting in school. On an individual level, a diverse and inclusive workforce can help provide varied styles of feedback early on in career development as well.

Feedback cultures also help build resilience.

Because feedback, however constructive, is a form of adversity, it can elicit an unregulated emotional response. It is interesting to note that people who have faced the minor adversity of consistent, regular, and honest feedback from very early on in their lives, score significantly higher for the behavior of being resilient than those who have not. Personal growth and development require a person’s status quo to be disrupted so new personal capabilities and competencies can be developed.

Resilience can be broken down into seven measurable factors, all of which can be taught, learned, and improved as an important part of a performance development program:

Emotional regulation. The ability to stay calm under pressure and to be aware of emotions and manage them. Also, using emotions to guide decision-making when appropriate.

Impulse control. The ability to shut out distraction and restrain immediate reactions.

Causal analysis. The ability to identify the causes of a problem comprehensively and accurately.

Self-efficacy. The ability to convey ideas and solutions in an assured manner.

Realistic optimism. The belief that things can change for the better is important. But contrary to popular belief, resilience lies in accurate thinking, not positive thinking.

Empathy. The ability to read and understand others.

Reaching out. The ability to seek out new opportunities, challenges, and relationships.